the wacky wombat weblog

At the block where I live, there are about 5 cats living on the ground floor, each occupying its own little corner. They each have a their own quirks and temperament, and that’s why I love them!

We found Mr Pogo Stick when he was a wee little one, just a few months old, and possibly abandoned coz he just showed up out of nowhere. He’s completely black, with shinning round yellow eyes. He’s just about the friendliest cat around. He tries to befriend everyone — even a giant huskie doesn’t faze him (or maybe he just doesn’t know what a dog is).

We call him Mr Pogo Stick because he was always bouncing around when he saw us. He still walks with a bounce even though he’s all grown up after a year now. We always thought he doesn’t really have much “cat skills” as he didn’t seem very good at pouncing or chasing anything. That’s until 2 nights ago, when I saw him darting away quickly with a bird in his mouth!!! X_X Was horrified but at the same time I thought — he’s finally a Real Cat now! Haha.

Mr Pogo Stick’s buddy is Marble. I thought Marble was a she, what with the pretty coat of fur and manja nature, but turns out, Marble’s a dude!! He likes to headbump his favourite humans, and leave some of his white fur all over my dark-coloured pants. He doesn’t seem to eat a lot so I sometimes wonder how he grew so big and sturdy.

We’re quite glad these two ended up being buddies. When Pogo Stick was real small, he got bullied a lot by other cats nearby. But I guess after ingesting sufficient amount of kibbles, he’s grown up, complete with a slight tummy. Guess that’s ROI for all the kibbles I bought, LOL!

Besides Mr Pogo Stick and Marble, there’s also Garfield, an orange-coloured cat who’s an old-timer who isn’t always very amused at what Pogo Stick and Marble do for play time. But he humours them and sits with them sometimes. Marble’s mom is also a pretty lady, all white with an all black tail, always sitting pretty, being proper and all.

There are a few more at the other blocks, but these are the few that I always look out for. They’ve all been neutered, and there’s an auntie who regularly comes by everyday to provide them all with a wet meal and fresh water. By the time I get back from work, it’s supper time for them!

I guess the only time I’m compelled to update my blog is when I take a vacation and 1000 photos. haha. And I’ll make no excuse for that — my life is too freaking busy to have any semblance of life at all!

Nevertheless, I had a long-waited — and much-deserved I must add — vacation to Tokyo as the new year began. Au Yong was there for work, and I was there for the food, shopping and long walks around the city. Although I spent the first few days catching up on lost sleep from my crazy work days, I still made the most of the trip with many leisurely walks around the city.

This is my fourth trip to Tokyo, and I already have a routine of sorts of things to do but it always turns out fun! Some of my favourite moments in Tokyo for this trip:

• Eating 7-11 oden in the freezing cold at a playground — a pre-dinner snack bcoz I love oden!
• Relishing my favourite hakata-style ramen at Marukin and cheap gyoza at Osho (twice!!)
• Chilling out and pigging out at izakayas. Nothing better than beer and assorted dishes consisting fried chicken cartilege, grilled chicken gizzard, fried noodles, grilled fish and pickled vege.
• (Yes, much of my favourite moments are to do with food.)
• Getting lost in the elaborate train system. Took a “shortcut” with less transfers that ended up as a longer ride, all the way out to Kawasaki. But it was worth it for the amazing sight of the Tamagawa River when I walked out of the train to make my transfer.
• Walking around the city without any real concern for time, except for the remaining daylight for my photos.
• Seeing Au Yong in his salaryman outfit. teehee.
• Shopping like crazy and buying 1000 yen items at H&M.
• Having fun testing out our new Tokina ultra wide angle lens. It’s great for shots around a crowded city like Tokyo.
• Being amazed by Amazon Japan’s efficient delivery. Ordered a wacom tablet and camera lens, opted for express delivery only for 500 yen extra, and it was at our hotel the next afternoon. Takyubin-desu!
• Finally getting more than a glimpse at the majestic Mount Fuji, and of course, being on Fuji Speedway itself!
• Experiencing a wacky Japanese event — the mamachari bicycle endurance race at Fuji Speedway with Au Yong and his company

The first set of the photos are up on the blog now. Just head on over to our not-so-new photo gallery. The second set is still sitting inside my camera. :p

It’s been over a month and we’ve finally sorted out the new gallery for the blog, and laboured through the 1000 photos that we took on our trip to Bali in early May. They’re all up so click here to view them!

Bali was really more of a getaway-from-it-all type of holiday. We just wanted somewhere to chill out, and the right opportunity came along when we found cheap tickets on Air Asia. I didn’t have much time to research and plan our trip — even on our flight over, I was still reading about the island from an old 2005 travel guide I found at Bedok Library — but it wasn’t too hard to fill up our itenerary because there’s actually quite a lot to do there!

Bali is a rather big island, so we decided to focus on Ubud, which turned out to be a truly enchanting place. We loved our stay at Tegal Sari Accomodation, where we got huge villas to stay in for real cheap (about $S90 for a big 2-storey duplex). Nestled amid paddy fields, it was calm and serene, just the sort of place you need to empty out your mind and completely relax. The staff was also super helpful, offering to deliver our bags and put it in our rooms before we even checked in all because we wanted to go eat babi guling at Ibu Oka before it closes. They also drove us everywhere for a small fee, recommended things to do and helped us with our dinner reservations at restaurants.

Beyond our villas, there was much to do:

• Pigging out, trying new food. We had all our targets down before we even arrived. First stop – Babi Guling (suckling pig) at Ibu Oka at central Ubud. We also made reservations for dinner at Mozaic, a lovely restaurant set in a tropical garden that Au Yong had been wanting to try for a while. We also tried Bebek Betutu (smoked duck), another local specialty, at another popular place called Dirty Duck at central Ubud.

• Day trip to the beach. Went to Kuta – too many touts, and no local food to eat whatsoever. The beach and the waves were nice, but it was too touristy. We went to Jimbaran beach in the late afternoon, watched fishermen coming and going at sea, and had freshly grilled seafood for dinner along the beach while watching the waves crash upon the shore and the sun set behind a huge tuff of cloud.

• Nature walk amidst paddy fields and fruit trees, followed by spa. It was meant to be a walk, but it turned out to be more of a trek. We also planted 2 trees on a hill somewhere, part of Tegal Sari’s conservation thingy. After 3 hours, our legs were like jello, and Au Yong had his first kiss from nature (leech bite). *wahaha* So it was a good thing we booked a 2.5-hour spa treatment in the afternoon (which was, btw, damn cheap. Only about S$25 per person!)

• Walking around town. Ubud may be the rustic part of Bali, but it is well-attuned to tourism and offers quite a relaxing shopping experience. Quirky little shops line the streets, offering artworks such as paintings, wood carvings, stone statues and local textile. The handiwork is pretty good quality, which is why it isn’t very cheap either. But the place makes for a good walk. We also passed by the Monkey Forest on our way back to Tegal Sari, but monkeys aren’t our thing.

• Cultural showcase. Part of Ubud’s way to draw in tourists is their nightly cultural dance performance. Bali has its own unique dances (Barong and Kecak), performed to mesmerising gamelan music. The best performances are all in Ubud. We went for one which featured an all-female gamelan musicians and children dancers at the Ubud Water Palace. While it would have been nicer if the spectators weren’t only tourists (no locals to be found except on stage), it was a fine show indeed – very captivating!

There was a lot more that I wanted to do – see the sunset at Uluwatu, spend more time on the beach, probably at Sanur, and visit the temple at Tanah Lot. But we just didn’t want to pack the itenerary and rush through everything. We’d rather enjoy everything at a relaxed pace, and make a trip again. Because we definitely will return to Bali – it’s hard not to after having enjoyed it so much.

I was there last week to exhibit at the GSM Mobile World Congress 2009. Almost got pick-pocketed upon arrival, some lady tried to open my backpack’s top zipper while descending on an escalator. Didn’t manage to chase her down as I was encumbered with 2 luggage bags. Luckily there’s not much for her to take from that pocket. Stumbled into her again in the evening when she (and a partner-in-crime this time) tried to target Benet while he was getting onto a metro train. I gave a shout and Benet soon realized he was being targetted and moved further inside the train carriage, and the 2 ladies panicked and hurriedly walked out of the train. Upon recognizing her face, I swiftly extended my leg and tripped her on her way out… kih kih kih… revenge is sweet :p

Managed to squeeze in 1 day of sightseeing and will post up more photos later… in the meantime, here’s a teaser photo of the main door to the Sagrada Familia temple:

Going on vacation is a great thing. Even better if you fly for free. :p

Two months ago (Dec 2008), we went on a short weekend getaway to Taipei. We had enough miles on our Kris Flyer to each redeem a ticket, and we were given the option of choosing Hong Kong, Shanghai or Taipei. Cheap food, affordable hotels and friendly locals – it’s a no-brainer, so we went to Taipei for a short 3-day 2-night weekend getaway.

We stayed at TS Hotel, located on a street just under 5 minutes from Ximen MRT and Ximenting. It’s cheap, the room’s nice and comfortable, location’s convenient and the service is personal. So if you’re looking for good and cheap accomodation, that’s the place to go to.

At Taipei, you never stop eating. You never really have complete meals as much as you just walk around eating every snack in sight that smells or looks good. That’s probably why I never ended up eating the stinky tofu. I was determined to try it, but I’m sorry stinky tofu, your stench was just too much for me. Everything else was super yummy and super cheap. Gotta love the exchange rate! :p

I enjoyed walking on the streets. It’s filled with people, and food. It’s vibrant and surprisingly welcoming. And a new snack await at every turn, just like this potato chips stick I found. It’s a half-potato that’s carved in a continuous spiral, fried on the spot on a stick, and it never ever crumbles into a million pieces when you pick at it to eat. The trick, as the hawker told us, is to eat from the bottom up. It’s totally coated with MSG (as with every other fried snack in Taipei), but it’s yummy! I’ll worry about hair loss after the trip. :p

Even though our trip was really short (and I agree with most that to have a good tour of Taipei you’ll need 4 to 5 days), but we did manage to check out quite a few spots. The best thing about Taipei is that it’s really very easy to get around, so the only itinerary planning we did was the night before we flew, on Google. Their MRT service is very much similar to Singapore, and I’m very glad that I can comprehend their Mandarin better.

I think my favourite spot was Danshui (æ·¡æ°´). Located in the North of Taipei, it’s a quaint harbour-side town. Away from the hip and happening city, it’s a nice place to just relax. We went there on a Sunday, and it was obviously a popular spot for the local families as well. Thankfully it wasn’t too crowded, so you could still have a slow stroll down the streets on the waterfront while still enjoying a fun carnival-like atmosphere. Again, there’s lots to eat. I especially love that ice-cream is so cheap.

I’ve uploaded some photos that’ll explain more about what we saw on the trip. Hit on the Photo Gallery button on the navigation bar on top, and check out our 2 Taipei albums. If you’re too lazy to scroll, click on this right here.

Lion Dance Performance On January 26, 2009

Here’s to a happy and prosperous new year to all who happens to stumble onto this blog :p

From the 2 of us here who conveniently forgot to post up the above wish before CNY

We both love food. When we both head out for a meal, we eat a lot. Everyone’s always horrified that such a small person like me can eat so much all day long. I’m like lil’ gojira, chomping on food all the way.

That being the case, living in Singapore thus becomes sort of a daily struggle when it comes to food. I never know what to eat even after living here for 7 years. Not because there’s “so much great food” like all the lying coniving TV food shows always say, but that there isn’t anything nice to eat here!

I’m serious. For us, food here has only two classification: Edible & Not Edible. And this problem exists perhaps only for people like us who grew up eating food Malaysian style – oily, more flavours, less starchy, and less sweet. Which is entirely not the style here in Singapore.

You see, the problem is, Singapore and Malaysia share similar cuisine in that you can find wan tan mee, curry mee and char kuey teow in both countries, but they taste totally different! Which brings us to a childhood memory of mine.

Gastronomy trauma

When I was 6, all I ate everyday was wan tan mee. I never ate anything else when we’re out at hawker places. So when I came to Singapore on a trip, naturally I asked for wan tan mee when my dad brought us out to eat. Usually, I’d devour the noodles and polish the plate even of all its sauce. But when I tasted my Singapore wan tan mee, I couldn’t eat. To my 6-year-old mind, it looked like wan tan mee, but it did not taste like wan tan mee! There was tomato sauce in it and it was sweet! *horrors* So I broke my record finally, and did not finish my wan tan mee for the very first time.

Coincidentally, Au Yong had a similar experience as a kid with the same wan tan mee. Now every time we return to KL, we’d head straight for the following things:

• wan tan mee (no tomato or chilli pls)
• char kuey teow (dry and fried with lots of egg, not dripping wet with sweet black sauce)
• hokkien mee (KL style, not the limp yellowy-white ones)
• Bak kut teh (thick soup cooked with herbs, not pepper soup)
• Curry mee (with a cube of pig’s blood)
• Penang prawn mee (the spicy sort, not the clear soup ones)
• roti canai

Porkylicious

So on our last last trip in Aug, we had a pork fest. We usually have bak kut teh at this shop that’s situated in the middle of nowhere between 2 storage warehouses off the highway near Subang Village. It’s super cheap and really delicious. With bak kut teh in Singapore, you get a soup that’s peppery and light. While it’s okay, it’s not really what I want when I eat bak kut teh. Bak kut teh is meant to be oily, unhealthy and flavourful! Pepper soup is something I can make on my own. The thick herbal soup? That’s something only the best bak kut teh shops know how to cook up, so that when you first walk in to the shop, you can smell it and you’re already drooling for it.

Also, you haven’t tasted pork heaven until you’ve been to this place – Elcerdo, at Changkat Bukit Bintang in KL. Promising “nose to tail” dining, this little restaurant serves nothing but pork. There’s even real bacon bits in your potato or vegetable salad. It’s a little costly, but both the food and service is fantastic. They even gave us ladies little stools to put our handbags so that we can sit comfortably and enjoy our food!

For the main course, we shared a bacon-wrapped pork knuckle, stuffed with herbs and served with watercress. Needless to say, we really pigged out at that dinner!

The real McCoy

Besides going to mamaks for a nice supper of teh special and roti canai, we sometimes head out to a coffee shop near Jln 222 for hokkien mee. The KL style hokkien mee is basically thick fried noodles in salty black sauce and tons of pork lard. Every night, this coffee shop is filled with patrons, and nobody orders anything else except hokkien mee. Again, the pork lard probably isn’t the healthiest, but it’s what makes it taste sooo yummy and you only live once.

People who haven’t smelt or eaten it might say it doesn’t look nice, but seriously, this is hawker food, and hawker food is the kind of thing where you gotta be able to smell it and eat it. Aesthetics is secondary because you’re paying the fella only a few bucks for a delicious plate of food.

Wan ton, two ton?

Of course, my perenial favourite wan tan mee is a must have on my trips back to KL. The thing with KL hawker food is, it doesn’t matter where or which coffee shop you’re at. Just pick anything, and chances are it’ll taste good. Not great, but definitely way beyond merely the Edible classification that I give to most hawker food in SG.

On that trip back, we also drove to Ipoh to visit Au Yong’s grandparents. And there, I had the cheapest wan tan mee ever for only RM2.40! Heck, even in KL it’s almost double of that price. The cost of living in that town is insanely cheap!

Ipoh is also famous for its Ipoh Hor Funn, which you can also find anywhere else in M’sia but Ipoh’s version tastes the best. And to my horror, stalls selling “Ipoh” hor fun in Singapore, serve it “dry” with starchy black sauce. omg. Ipoh hor fun is supposed to be in a light flavourful clear soup, not thick sweet and starchy black sauce. If it has to be eaten that way, then just call it ’something-else’ hor fun, not Ipoh hor fun. X_X The stalls would also have the soup option, but clearly it isn’t a popular option as most people order the starchy black sauce, and with valid reason — the soup option is served clear, with no flavours except pepper!

*choke* *explodes*

Anyway yes, this blog post is the culmination of my seven years of eating local food in Singapore. X_X

Of course, I gotta give credit where it’s due. When it comes to international cuisine and fine dining, Singapore is a great place for it. Café Le Caire @Al-Majlis at Arab Street offers good Middle Eastern fare (mmmm lamb) at a decent price, while Sage at Mohd Sultan Rd serves up the most delicate french-inspired cuisine in a non-pretentious setting. And I have come across a great place serving good hawker style food – the yong tau fu shop at the end of Amoy Street. I used to go there every week, because it tastes almost like home.

p/s: I’ve also uploaded some shots of that August food trip: Go to Gallery, and click on Fooding in KL to view.

The 2008 F1 season has just concluded with Lewis Hamilton winning the championship title by the slimmest margin and what was possibly the most gripping 30 seconds of a race at the final leg at Brazil.

But the best part of this year’s GP season has got to be the first night race in Singapore. Thanks to a friend, we got free walkabout tickets for all 3 days, and I gotta say, the whole thing was pretty impressive!

Electrifying atmosphere

On Friday Practice, we went with the intention to recce the place to find out which are the best spots to catch the action. Being poor and without seats, we had to consider vantage points and look for slow corners so that we could at least have more than one second look at passing cars.

The first thing that struck me was the atmosphere. Thanks to me not getting off work at 6, the practice session was already under way when we got there. But the moment we got out of City Hall MRT, we could already hear the cars V8 engine roaring past. I knew the race is loud but having never attended one before, the first time you hear the cars roar past, it was quite an unexpected volume. Of course, many years back it would have sounded even better (less screechy) when the cars were running on V10 engines.

The whole place was lit up so much so it was practically daylight, and for that reason I could actually capture pictures outdoors at night with my tiny digital camera. And the sheer size of the circuit – needless to say, my feet ached from just walking around.

We also rented the Kangaroo TV – a portable TV that streams the live cast, scores, statistics and also team radio. That’s how we kept up with the race without being seated in front of the big screen. In fact, some others were freeloading off us from behind us but hey, it’s ok, because they were sorely disappointed when Massa drove down the pit lane with the fuel rig still stuck in his car. harharhar. nyehnyehnyeh.

The crowd was also huge, a full turnout from the sold out tickets I’d say. And surprisingly, it wasn’t too hard to get in or out of the venue despite the large crowd, which is commendable.

A tourism winner

But it’s really more than just selling all that tickets. The idea to bring F1 to Singapore is a very smart move by the government. It’s not really just about bringing in an expensive sport. The whole event is really another way to sell/promote the country.

Unlike normal circuits, street circuits, like Monaco and now Singapore, have a different feel. Situated in the very heart of cities, street circuits have a very celebratory and almost carnival-like feel. Roads are diverted so that a race could take place, and the whole city is geared up for it. And more than anything else, it always looks good.

It’s very smart that the Marina Bay circuit passes by some of the nicest landmarks and city views on the island. Heck, the entire race was practically a Singapore Tourism ad! It looked real good on TV, but on location, it’s even better. Everything’s up close, and there’s constant pulsing activity everywhere: Street performers before the races, food vendors hawking local fare, people at Suntec or Marina Square trying to catch a glimpse into the circuit, and as the race got under way, fans and crowds packed the place full. For some other normal race circuits, e.g. Sepang, you’re better off watching at home on the TV because on location, there’s nothing to see. But on a street circuit, it’s entirely different. Which is why we’re paying for seats next year (hopefully). And that is exactly what the organisers are hoping people will be thinking next year and returning for more.

Hopes for the F1 year ahead

Of course, we all heard that hotels, especially high end ones, lost out, possibly out of confidence that they would be overbooked so they hiked their price, and NOBODY wanted to pay for that. And I noticed that despite the crowds, many locals were not actually fans who follow the race but merely went to check it out for the experience. Many did not really understand the race, and the sporting feel just wasn’t really there yet. Which is why I think Mediacorp has to get the rights to telecast F1 races next year instead of featuring only the one Singapore one.

The whole island is mad about football, yet there isn’t any truly great football teams here. People just watch the English kick the ball on the pitch all year round and they are passionate about it. Now F1 is here, but nobody knows anything about the motorsport! So definitely the awareness is lacking, but it’s something that could have the potential to become a national ‘obsession’ if only people can get to watch it on free-to-air TV! Can also learn a thing or two from this little fan here:

So hey, Ch5 or something, please pick up the programme and air it. The broadcast will change hands next year from ITV to BBC, but at least it’ll be better than listening to the tormentingly stupid commentary on StarSports every race (and I still have to pay for it!!) That guy commentates every year and still gets the facts wrong. wtf.

And of course, my not-so-secret wishes for next year’s F1 season are:

• FIA to stop being the running dog of Ferrari and jumping on every little thing the McLaren team does and siding with Ferrari all the freaking time.
• Kimi to kick Massa’s ass and show him who’s the real pro.
• Renault to improve their car so that Alonso can have a proper comeback, kick Massa to the back and we can watch the big players race
• More exciting performances from Lewis
• Kovy to do better next year in McLaren
• For us to save enough money to splash on seated grandstand tickets for the SG race. :p

Take a look at the sights around the SG F1 circuit: go to Gallery, and click on the album Singapore F1 Grand Prix 2008. There’re not many pictures of the cars since they’re all a blur, but there’re some interesting sights, and of course, hot babes.

If this picture doesn’t make you feel like wanting to click and view the album, then I don’t know what will. LOL!

There’s really no excuse. Writer’s block, exhaustion, no inspiration, the Internets broke down or the dog ate it – I really have no excuse for not updating this blog for the past 3 months!! haha. Many things have come and passed, but the fact of the matter was, I just simply didn’t feel like putting myself up to writing stuff down. In other words, I was lazy. LOL.

But today’s different. I’ve planted my butt here, logged in here, deleted some spam comments, and here I am on the Write Post page, ready to resurrect this dead blog site. So what the heck – here’s a quick rundown of what’s gone by in the previous months.

Transplanted in the east, and west-bound everyday

I’ve moved to live in Bedok since August. Very simply, the rent here is cheaper. Au Yong has said sayonara to Tokyo and so we needed an entire flat and not just the puny room I had previously. And here we are.

It’s the first time I’ve ever lived in such a ‘heartland’ kind of place. Putting the jungle that is NTU aside, I’ve only ever lived in Queenstown and Tiong Bahru, both really near the city but lacking a township that’s as vibrant. I love all the old-style shops in Bedok Central – the many pawn shops and incense/burn-only-for-dead-people shops – I don’t think I can even find many of these back home in PJ anymore. Not to mention, gigantic supermarkets that are stocked with tons of things. And free buses to gigantic Ikea. Bedok Reservoir and East Coast Park aren’t too far away though I still haven’t gotten myself to go and try cycling.

There’s also a stadium and a pool behind us. Which is why I’ve canceled my beloved gym membership. It’s too much of a hassle to get to my gym now that I don’t quite end work on time everyday, so it’s back to public facilities. There’s also lots of kids here, as well as stray cats, and I have a neighbour down the corridor whose loud conversations on the phone only contain vocabulary of the most flowery hokkien cusswords. Another neighbour down the other end of the corridor likes to blast music on the weekends – I’m wondering how long it takes for his radio’s speakers to fizzle out at that volume. LOL.

Of course, everyone also tells me that the food here is great, but um, as a KL foodie, I can’t comment on that. haha.

Transplanted in the east, I make a journey to the west (monkey king style) everyday. I’ve since changed job as well, and unfortunately it’s a 30-min train ride away. So every morning and evening I join over x million of people in Singapore and jostle for a space on the train. Forget about seats, just be glad you can squeeze into the train at all. And after a while, you start seeing the same faces waiting for the same train everyday at 7:45am at the same end of the platform, which can be quite interesting at times. (I once thought a gaudily-dressed woman was a streetwalker until I realise 8am is too early for business and she did not get off at kallang or aljunied. haha.)

Au Yong’s luckier as he gets a direct bus to his office, but then, it’s the kind of bus that never comes when you need it to, so I guess I don’t envy him either, LOL.

Of course, now that we have an entire flat to ourselves, we’ve gladly furnished it with a gigantic plasma TV complete with sound system & media centre + cable channels + Nintendo Wii! That pretty much explains why things don’t really get done in the house, and that includes writing blog entries. And through the process of buying electricals and necessities for the house, I discovered that Au Yong is more aunty than I am.

We also bought pots and pans, but neither one of us are actual experienced cooks (instant noodles and eggs don’t count). So far, we’ve only accomplished pasta coz it’s the easiest to portion. We really need to start diversifying!

Anyway now that I’ve written this post, I hope I’m back to writing more on the blog! :p

If you’re geeky enough (e.g. recompile your own Linux kernel) and keep updated with the current affairs (e.g. a Digg addict), you should know about Hans Reiser being convicted for murdering his wife. Hans Reiser is the guy who wrote the Linux filesystem of the same name. He pleaded not guilty, but was convicted of the murder anyway, despite not having substantial evidence presented against him. In the news today, he lead the police to the place he buried his wife, in hope for lighter sentence.

So he’s definitely going to jail. Maybe he’ll befriend a Scottish eBay trader-turned-scammer, McRed, who can procure anything you can find on eBay. One day he realized that his cell is becoming too dirty, he got McRed to help him buy a Roomba. Little did he know, the Roomba can also tunnel a hole in a wall if it’s set to “Dig” mode. So it started boring a hole in the wall and he needed to cover it up before he got caught. Luckily, McRed could get him a poster of Angelina Jolie to hang on his wall. Apparently the movie Wanted[2008]DvDrip.AC3-aXXo.avi is the most popular movie being played endlessly in the recreational room there.

Now, he had to take his Roomba out to the yard everyday to empty its contents since it’s obviously collecting more dusts and rocks. And then one fine day, he and his circle of friends in there managed to secure places for temporary work at Netflix DVD rental processing center due to sudden increase of orders as Film Actors’ Guild (FAG) is on strike. Yeah, no new movies showing in theatres. During the stint there, he overheard Captain Hershey bitching over the high processing fees for a lottery that he won over e-mail from some obscure country. He then offered to help the Captain, suggesting that he can offer a smaller sum of his winnings to another person, one who would be willing to fork out the processing fees.

From that day on, he started helping out other guards in the prison sort out their spambox and covering up all the cache and browser history from all their pr0n surfing. He was assigned to help at the computer room, the only room where there’s a computer for use for the inmates to e-mail their wives/fans all over the world. Then, he was able to expand the computer room into a full-service internet cafe and even managed to get ASUS to donate eee PCs for the inmates to use. He even started to help some inmates get their CS diploma and RHCE Linux certification!

On the other end, he was helping the warden with ID theft scams by hacking the computers the inmates were using in the internet cafe. With the stolen IDs, they got more and more daring and amassed a big chunk of fortune in an offshore bank account in the Caribbeans. All that took up all of his time until the tunnel was ready. He managed to escape the prison via the tunnel and a national oil pipeline that happened to cut across the prison.

Upon his escape, he swiftly flew to the Caribbeans and withdrew all the monies from the scams and pinned all the crimes on the warden. When McRed finished serving his sentence, they met up in the Caribbeans and they both started an online casino called red34.com. And they lived happily ever after.

Somehow, the whole story had Morgan Freeman narrating it. Don’t ask me why. Maybe coz he’s God